


if i were easy, everyone would be doing me

by misura



Category: Uprooted - Naomi Novik
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, Background Het, M/M, Pre-Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27859342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: In which Sarkan is the worst roommate ever, but Solya puts up with him anyway. (AU)
Relationships: The Dragon | Sarkan/The Falcon | Solya
Comments: 9
Kudos: 20
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	if i were easy, everyone would be doing me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tiarn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiarn/gifts).



"How do you ask someone out on a date?" Sarkan asked, and if they hadn't been in the middle of having sex, Solya might have felt quite pleased with himself for having achieved the long-coveted status of confidant-slash-friend-with-benefits to his rather stand-offish but also extremely powerful (and thus useful) roommate.

As it was, he managed a slightly undignified "What?" rather than an indignant one.

Sarkan had the gall to look annoyed, as if he'd expected better from Solya. "I'm aware of your limitations, but I honestly don't know which words in that sentence could cause you any trouble."

Solya's 'limitations' were that he was not an arrogant, anti-social weirdo with an aversion to making friends. Also, admittedly, his magic wasn't _quite_ as powerful as Sarkan's, but then, no one's was. At least Solya came close.

"I understood the question," he said, while Sarkan started doing something incredibly distracting that Solya would have enjoyed under normal circumstances. Inasfar as those occurred between them. "Why - " Scratch that, stupid question. "Who is it?"

Solya wasn't stupid enough to think it was him. Sarkan's exact response to Solya hitting on him had been to say, 'well, I suppose I'd like some sex every now and then, if you're interested'. At the time, Solya had felt it to be a very promising response.

And the thing was, he _enjoyed_ having sex with Sarkan. Solya couldn't even say why: all circumstantial evidence suggested Sarkan would be terrible at it, and yet he wasn't. It was a mystery.

"What business is that of yours?" Sarkan asked, making it sound like Solya was prying.

"Different people require different approaches," Solya said, which was true. He might not yet have figured out the exact way to approach Sarkan for any favors of a non-sexual nature, but Solya tried very hard to believe it was only a matter of time. Sooner or later, he'd have Sarkan all figured out, and then he'd have sweet, sweet revenge, or possibly just an extremely useful ally-slash-almost-friend. Ideally, both, though that might be asking a bit much.

"That sounds like rubbish," Sarkan said. "Do you have an actual source for that?"

"It's a social interaction, not a spell, you idiot," was what Solya would have liked to say, but didn't, in part because right now he liked Sarkan almost as much as he disliked him. Sex had that effect on him, he'd found. Instead, he said, "Um," which got Sarkan looking all smug and superior.

"Well, never mind, I'll work something out. Thanks anyway. I suppose."

Solya felt still annoyed about that 'I suppose' when he came, about half a minute later.

As it turned out, the object of Sarkan's dubious desire was called Agnieszka, which meant nothing to Solya. He was reassured to find out that was because she was, in fact, a nobody, albeit one who'd supposedly cast some impressive magic during her entrance test.

"I've been assigned to tutor her," Sarkan said, in the same tone of voice another person might have said, 'I am to be executed at dawn tomorrow'.

"I thought you wanted to date her," Solya said, confused. Sarkan tended to have that effect on people about half the time. The other half, he annoyed them.

Sarkan frowned. "Dating someone I'm tutoring would probably be a bit unethical, don't you think? People might talk."

"I didn't think you cared about that," Solya said truthfully. Nobody who had spent more than five minutes in Sarkan's company would have thought Sarkan cared about what other people thought - unless they'd written it down in a book somewhere, in which case Sarkan would at least consider their opinion.

"Well, it was just a thought," Sarkan said. "I'm curious about her magic. Tutoring her will serve just as well as dating her, I imagine. The only difference is that it's going to be more time-consuming."

"Yes, I see how it would," Solya said, who did nothing of the kind. On the other hand, there might be an opportunity here. "And hey, if it turns out to be too much trouble, I'd be happy to help. I mean, what else are roommates for?"

"Sex?" Sarkan frowned, as if he suspected Solya of having asked him some sort of trick question.

"I have class in thirty minutes," Solya said.

"We'll have to make it quick, then."

All things considered, Solya thought he'd handled the situation quite well. Sarkan as a tutor to anyone was a disaster waiting to happen: thanks to Solya, that disaster would be mitigated. With luck, he'd come out of this with everyone involved owing him a favor, whether they were aware of it (everyone except Sarkan) or not (Sarkan).

He dutifully attended classes, took notes, and returned some of Sarkan's overdue books to the library.

When he came back, the room looked like some sort of explosion had taken place.

Also, there were naked people, one of them Sarkan, the other one probably the not-at-all-famous Agnieszka, although Solya wouldn't have bet any money on it, Sarkan being Sarkan.

On the other hand, Solya had very much been under the impression that Sarkan's social skills were approximately non-existent and probably capable of being mathematically expressed by a negative number. He'd assumed Sarkan was having sex with him because it was convenient, because they were roommates, and because Solya had approached him first.

For lack of a better word, Solya decided he felt hurt.

"If you're not going to join in, would you kindly leave? And lock the door or something," Sarkan said.

"I - " Apparently, he also felt at a loss for words. Solya swallowed and forced himself to think about this. So Sarkan was having sex with at least one other person, maybe just this one time, so what? They'd never promised each other exclusivity of any kind.

Solya definitely wasn't in love with Sarkan, and Sarkan seemed very much to return the not-feeling.

There was no problem here, other than the complete mess their room had been turned into. With luck, Sarkan would fix that. Sarkan did dislike messes and disorder and things not being where they ought to be - with the exception of library books, which always ought to be in Sarkan's room, rather than some place where other students might get their hands on them as well.

"A few hours should do it," Sarkan said. "Thanks."

Fuck having a powerful ally, Solya decided: the future was going to have nothing but sweet, sweet revenge in it.

Or possibly not. The thing was: sex with Sarkan was _really_ good. It messed with Solya's head.

"So what happened with what's her name - Agnieszka?" Solya asked, to prove to himself that his head wasn't quite _that_ messed with.

"You really think this is a good time to talk about that?" Sarkan asked.

Solya shrugged. "Just wondering if I ought to go looking for a new roommate." Not that even Sarkan would be able to get away with causing that much of a scandal.

As proven by Solya's unassailed and spotless virtue, forbidding male and female students from rooming together served as an excellent way to preserve decency.

"Why would you need to do that?" Sarkan asked, sounding genuinely puzzled. "You want us to stop having sex? That's fine with me; you don't need to move out if that's the problem."

Solya closed his eyes and counted to ten slowly. As usual, it didn't work. "No. I'm all right with the sex." The sex was what made the rest of the time bearable.

"Good," Sarkan said, sounding perhaps a tiny, tiny bit relieved. More likely, that was just Solya's imagination though. "Agnieszka - well. I'm not sure what to say. What did you want to know?"

 _Everything,_ Solya thought, because knowledge was power, and every student here might one day be a rival or an ally. That was what Sarkan didn't seem to understand: the friendships you made here would impact the rest of your life.

Other people, ordinary people would live maybe seventy years. People like Sarkan and Solya and yes, even Agnieszka would live for centuries, unless they got killed.

"Do you - " Solya swallowed. _Do you love her?_ he'd almost asked: a ridiculous, meaningless question. "Are the two of you getting along?" he asked instead.

"Not really, I suppose," Sarkan said. "She's very difficult. Terrible at following simple instructions. Seems capable of collapsing a bookshelf simply by looking at it. Her magic's quite something, though."

That sounded like it had potential. "In what way?"

"I can't really put it into words," Sarkan said. "It's messy. Imprecise. Like her."

"The two of you seemed pretty close," Solya said. He was faintly horrified to realize he sounded bitter.

"We cast a spell together, she her way and I mine. The result was ... unexpected," Sarkan said. He sounded almost awed, a situation Solya hadn't thought possible.

"So you like her," Solya said. He wished he could shut up.

Sarkan scowled and said, "Definitely not. Didn't you listen to a word I just said? Why do I even bother talking to you? You asked; the least you could do is pay attention."

"So you didn't like her," Solya said.

"That would logically follow, wouldn't it?" Sarkan said. "Mind, I'm still going to tutor her: she deserves the best guidance available, and it's possibly not her fault her magic works the way it does. So we might be having sex more often. I suppose."

"You suppose," Solya said. He felt at once irritated and wounded, like he wanted to kiss Sarkan and curse him at the same time. (There were, in fact, a number of curses transferable via the lips. Sarkan no doubt would be able to provide a full list.)

"Yes. So do let me know if you ever change your mind about joining in. Might be interesting."

"Interesting," Solya echoed. He resolved to return all of Sarkan's library books first thing tomorrow morning. The library staff would be overjoyed and in his debt for the rest of the year, and Sarkan would be in a terrible mood for the next week if not longer: normally not a price Solya would be willing to pay, but he felt the circumstances warranted it.

"If you're only going to repeat things I've already said, maybe we could stop talking now?" Sarkan said.

Given his odds of not getting to have any sex for the next two weeks at least, Solya supposed he should try to make this one count. "Sure. Sorry."

"It's all right," Sarkan said, sounding unexpectedly gracious. "You were curious. I understand curiosity."

 _Too bad you don't understand anything else,_ Solya thought, but by then Sarkan had gotten down to business, or pleasure, rather, and so he didn't think it for very long.

Besides, he didn't feel that sorry for Sarkan's failings anyway, given that Solya was the one having to put up with them.

**Author's Note:**

> you had me at 'and they were roommates'.
> 
> happy Yuletide! <3


End file.
